I wrote a post the other week on self worth (Are you even worthy?), exploring ways in which you can recognise your self perception and the possible triggers with some solutions.. but as myself and many are FULLY aware, it can be a continual journey with the unwelcome visitor of self sabotage – annoyingly, more often than not, triggered by others actions – even the most self aware can get caught.
Recentley I noticed my own mind succumbing to those old feelings & thoughts. I can preach truth all day long but I’m not about to say I have putting the solutions into action at first trigger locked down just yet… my evaluations are getting quicker for sure, but its a process – one that I’ve accepted doesn’t appear over night.
So often do we tie our own self worth with expectations, or ‘anticipated outcomes’ (I often write about the benefits of living without expectations but just realised I’m yet to blog about it so… PENDING!). In saying that I mean the feelings attached when we don’t get that text back, when we don’t get that call. When we don’t get asked out or even when we don’t get tagged in that meme. It’s so natural to create these subconscious expectations on things we have absolutely no control over & as soon as they don’t go how we foresaw them, the shame and resentment quickly falls over us…
But the fact is, although it can feel natural to allow the two things to correlate, they actually have no correlation at all.
Your worth, your value is what YOU perceive and know it to be. No-one knows you like you do, nor will they ever. You understand your heart and you know your intent. Others may act as they do based on so many factors, maybe their own demons, maybe their perception of you based on their own life context, maybe their perception of you due to their inability to see or understand you… maybe just NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU WHATSOEVER.
The best thing to do, and what I’m continually learning, is to lower and if possible remove ALL expectations. They provide you with nothing but a feeling deep in your stomach – an uncomfortable one at that. Removing them allows you to embrace and live in gratitude for all that is, rather than paying acknowledgment and dwelling in all that is not. It allows you to draw not only a line but build a divide between external factors and your own self worth, deleting any perceived correlation between the two.
So heres your reminder, from one ever evolving soul to another. Your heart is gold, your intentions are pure. You are funny, thoughtful & a creative in your own manner. You are you & that is beautiful. No one, thing or situation knows you like you do. Be kind & show others how they should treat you by example – not only to others but most importantly, TO YOURSELF.
Love & Light,