Why hi there, been a while?
Said i’d pick it up again and had this title saved from a piece i wanted to write back in 2019. The topic remains relevant so i used it as inspiration to get back tapping away on the keyboard, so here goes:…
It’s funny, for YEARS, in fact most of my life, i’d spend endless moments worrying about what others thought about me. And no doubt if you’re reading this you can relate.
As a kid it’s common to fall into the trap of trying to fit in. Music, clothes, friendship groups… I even remember forcing my Mum to buy me Wagonwheels (those biscuits with marshmallow and chocolate for those who don’t know) to have in my lunchbox – FYI: I HATED WAGONWHEELS! but all my friends had them so it only felt right…
This then continues on to high school, but the pressure has started to knock the nails deeper. The material aspects no longer the main concern, they’ve now become second nature and covered by the subconscious. At this point it moves onto areas that at the time we deemed would shape us for the rest of our lives… you want to do well in school, but you don’t want to be perceived as a ‘geek’. You want to be funny, you don’t want to be perceived as the ‘class clown’. You want to remain innocent, you don’t want to be perceived as ‘frigid’. You want to be experimental, you don’t want to be perceived as loose.
This then continues into the workplace, now even more embedded. The character aspects no longer the main concern, they’re also now covered by the subconscious. Now it moves in to areas that we deem would shape our career, thus dictating how our life will turn out. You want to have money, you want to have progression, you want to have a career perceived as ‘successful’… less emphasis is put on what your passion is, ‘dream’ jobs are often now simply that, a dream. I remember eagerly waiting every Monday for Friday to arrive, counting the days till the next pay. Planning out holidays months in advance, only for them to come and go like the wind. Always gunning for something, just never for the day.
Perception is a funny thing, for so many of our years perception of ourselves through another’s eyes is all we’re taught… and whilst it’s important to be self aware, this can only be done effectively when we have awareness of self – through our own eyes.
Through my own observation, a global awakening is happening. More and more are going through diversions in life triggering them to an in depth innerstanding of who they are, not who they perceived themselves to be , or others perceive them to be – but acknowledging the innate workings of their deepest self. Reflecting on the learnt behaviours, the societal conditioning, the traumas and the triggers that have shaped us & stripping it all back. Getting to know the heart, the gut, the mind & the soul.
Reaching a point where perceptions don’t phase us anymore, they don’t shape us. Our hearts pure, intentions good, conscious clear.
That’s not to say others perceptions aren’t important, it’s necessary to listen & learn how our actions, irrelevant of how good the intention, affects others. Sometimes it may be a simple case of acknowledging an actions affect, how its made someone feel and moving forward together, other times it may just be a them problem. But you need to know yourself well enough to know the difference, to not act on pride but also not be moulded be another perception.
Just some food for thought today, the worlds a funny old place eh?
T xx
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